The other night I was talking to a self-described “New Order Mormon,” and he mentioned how much he enjoyed my blog, particularly my old blog, “Joseph’s Left One.” Back in those days I was probably more strident, more intent on being “right” about Mormonism, and it came through in my blog. Despite what some people claim, my intent was never to destroy faith, but rather just to put the facts out on the table. That facts are not kind to Mormonism isn’t really my fault.
My friend said that my blog was “the end” for his testimony. He said that he had been dealing with some issues regarding the church, and he and I had exchanged some emails. But the blog had laid out things in a way that he understood, and he felt the only conclusion possible was that the church wasn’t true, after all.
So, I admit it. I helped kill someone’s testimony. And I have mixed feelings about that. On the one hand, I haven’t done anything I didn’t set out to do: I just laid out the facts as I see them. Obviously, a lot of people disagree on the facts, which is why I have left the comments open here, so that people can disagree and even threaten violence, if they so choose.
However, I feel kind of bad because I know how painful it is to lose faith. I know how much it affects personal and family relationships, how much the social and financial costs can be. So, I’m sorry that my friend is dealing with all of that.
But then my friend has said he was already on his way out when he ran across what I’d written. I’m not so egotistical to think that what I say and think and write is so powerful that it sways anyone’s religious beliefs. It is what it is, and I make no apologies for what I have written, except for the occasional unkind remarks, which I am working on.