I’ve decided to see my therapist again. I’m not very good at conflict resolution, and I certainly have self-esteem issues. But I’m surviving.
When I went to see her before, she stressed that I needed to express myself openly and confidently, or I would end up depressed and miserable. I haven’t really learned to talk about troubling issues with people who are important to me, so I’ve too often just gone along to get along. I think that attitude was slowly crushing the life out of me.
This blog has been kind of an escape hatch where I could express what I was feeling and thinking. I could be as blunt as I wanted, and it was OK. What I’m learning is that the rest of my life needs to be like that, too. I need to stop worrying about what people think of me and just do and say what I think is right. I don’t think that’s too much to ask from someone.
I’ve been more open in my personal relationships recently, and it feels good, even though it has led to some heated moments and some other moments of despair. Somewhere inside of me are opinions and feelings that need to be expressed. So far, so good.