Utah Names

Today I was driving behind a mini-van, and there was a large sign advertising something or other, but it didn’t register what the service was they were selling. What hit me was the contact name: Loydece Flake.

Who on earth would name their child Loydece? I think it’s a girl’s name, but who knows? Over my many years associating with Mormons, I’ve run across some truly awful names, and they weren’t all Book of Mormon names. At BYU I had professors named VerDon and Leaun. A secretary I worked with was named BoBetta. I have cousins named Tauni, Kea, and TaeLeah. My wife has cousins named LaRue, RaLyn, and Rinnie. I’ve met RoLayne, Lavinia, Jex, Malarie, and Cree-L.

What is it about Mormons that leads so many to give such names? What are your favorite Mormon names?

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8 Responses to Utah Names

  1. runtu says:

    How bout celebrities 🙂

    10. Zuma Nesta Rock
    Parents – Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale
    nd their combined passion for Rock music their baby is named.

    9. Kal-El
    Parent – Nicholas Cage

    8. Fifi Trixibelle
    Parents – Bob Geldof and Paula Yates
    child after her.

    7. Moxie Crimefighter
    Parent – Pen Jillette

    6. Reignbeau
    Parent – Ving Rhames

    5. Audio Science
    Parent – Shannyn Sossamon

    4. Pilot Inspektor
    Parent – Jason Lee

    3. Sage Moonblood
    Parent – Sylvester Stallone

    2. Jermajesty
    Parent – Jermaine Jackson

    1. Moon Unit, Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen, Dweezil and Ahmet Emuukha Rodan
    Parent – Frank Zappa

  2. Kameron says:

    A few more odd Utah names of people I’ve known:

    -GlenDora
    -VerNon (Vernon, but classier?)
    -Jaxon (pronounced “Jackson”)
    -Brick
    -Happy

  3. Grégoire says:

    My favorite was a girl I grew up with in St. George. LaSchell was her first name. When we both entered our teenage years she explained the origins. It seems she was born in Los Angeles, hence the La- prefix.

    A close runner up from my childhood was Kendrita. She was named after (you guessed it) her father, and I probably don’t have to explain what his name was.

  4. Mina says:

    I worked with a guy named Lloyd who had two sons named Floyd and Cloyd. I also knew many, many “la” versions including LaBernie, Lashawnette, and Lawilla. Also a Verda. And how many tiny babies were introduced to the world as “Legrand?”

  5. mac says:

    I went to school with a girl named DaLynn, whose father’s name was Lynn. Our joke was that when she was born, her father said, “It’s a girl.” and her mother replied, “Da, Lynn.”

    For the canonical list, I submit the Utah Baby Namer:
    http://wesclark.com/ubn/

    I have a friend (in Idaho) who named his oldest son Ammon. He bought some property out in the boondocks (Ok, redundant with Idaho) and it has a small spring on the property. He found out that the spring does not have a name and as property owner he can register a name. He wanted to call it the Waters of Mormon. I told him that a better name would be The Waters of Sebus. (Ammon, Waters of Sebus, get it?)

    ObjJoke: Why are the waters of Sebus like Las Vegas? Both have a lot of one-armed bandits.

  6. sideon says:

    Mormons are trying to compete with drag queens:

    Anita Mann
    Lypsinka
    Miss Inglink
    Tess Tosterone
    Madam Ovary
    Anna Rexia
    Hollee Luja
    Bo Tocks
    Faye King
    Helvetica Bold
    Tallulah Bunkbed
    Hope Chest
    Orna Mint
    Pearl E. Gates
    Drunkard Channing

    As Cher would say, “Follow this, you bitches.”

  7. rebecca says:

    Ok, it’s really not that great, but I had a roommate at BYU named MeriLyn. The best thing about it was the phone calls we’d get – people never knew how to pronounce it (Mary Lynn). We got calls for Merlin SEVERAL times.

  8. rebecca says:

    PS – another roommate at BYU (same apartment) had an uncle who was a drag queen named Kitty Glitter.

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