Monson Calls for Modesty, Tab Collars

Rexburg, Idaho — Speaking to students at Brigham Young University, Idaho, LDS church president Thomas S. Monson emphasized the need for modesty and spiritual cleanliness, two virtues he said had nearly been lost in today’s so-called modern world.

Citing the poet A. Egbert Doggerel, Monson stated, “Truer words were never spoken than these:

“It matters not if I’m hale and keen
If my heart and soul remain unclean!”

The prophet spoke of his dismay at lax dress standards among some members of the church. “I am certain that our dear Heavenly Father looks down upon his children with perhaps a glint of tear in His eye, as He sees so many disregarding the prophetic counsel against slovenly and immodest dress.”

He reminded those in attendance of the inspired counsel of President Gordon B. Hinckley in pleading with the fair daughters of Zion to display only one earring on each ear. “Somwhere in the heavens, President Hinckley is smiling in the knowledge that so many have taken his words to heart.” But, President Monson intoned gravely, “There is much room for improvement, particularly among you priesthood holders. Are you living up to the Oath and Covenant of the priesthood? Are you conducting yourself with the modesty and dignity that befits someone with your holy calling?”

He then spoke of a troubling trend among the brethren of the church. “I have spent many nights on my knees, praying for guidance as to how I can help the brethren overcome a serious problem. I speak, of course, of the unkempt and often askew collars of our dress shirts. Many are the times when I’ve sat on the stand in a priesthood meeting and found my spirit troubled by crooked collars. Often the collar doesn’t even cover the tie wrapped around the neck. And, difficult as it may be to believe, some brethren cannot even be troubled to button the top button of their shirts. Surely the Spirit is grieved when the brethren of the Holy Priesthood take such a casual attitude toward their responsibilities.”

The prophet spoke of the great promise in the Book of Revelation: “He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels” (Rev. 3:5). “Brethren, do you imagine that you will be able to stand in the presence of the Lord with a crooked collar or slovenly tie?”

In His wisdom, the prophet said, the Lord has provided a way for His sons to reach their full potential: tab collars. “It is but a small thing the Lord requires: merely two buttons, one on each side of the collar. Keeping the tabs buttoned will ensure that you are neat and clean both inwardly and outwardly. My beloved brethren, I plead with all the force of a loving heart that you will return to your homes and make immediate and prayerful changes to your wardrobe.”

President Monson said that he had been inspired by a visit to a ward in McDermott, Nevada. “Here were the brethren arrayed as mighty warriors, all with tab collars, all neat and inspiring. Hearts were gladdened, spirits were lifted, and collars straightened.”

Student reaction was immediate. “I went home and threw out all my old, unworthy white shirts,” said Gareth Jensen, a junior from Tempe, Arizona. “I have decided to choose the right, and if that means buying tab collared shirts, I will not shirk.”

Tyler Roarke of Redding, California, expressed his desire to follow the prophet with “exactness”: “The prophet said we should get tabs on either side of the collar, but when I got my new shirts home, I noticed they had a third button in the back of the collar. I’m a little worried that I may be looking beyond the mark.”

Apostle David Bednar hailed the response of the students. “These young men and women know what is important in life, and they are a shining example to the world. One young woman I spoke with broke off her engagement because the young man said he didn’t know what the big deal was about tab collars. I’m sure she will be glad for the eternities that she saw the true measure of his faithfulness before she became unequally yoked with him.”


17 Responses to Monson Calls for Modesty, Tab Collars

  1. Lyndistine says:

    Oh my GOD! These get better every single time. I got two thirds of the way through thinking this whole thing was just a cut and paste from some other article! I kept waiting for you to cut in and ridicule how far things had gone. LOL. Keep up the excellent work man! I love these.

  2. Thayne Forbes says:

    I predict a coming flood of comments from the satirically impaired.

  3. Urban Koda says:

    Sadly, I know of many in my ward who would nod at this article and return home to follow in the footsteps of the valiant folks from Idaho, as well as a former bishop who would likely devote this weekends service to the new direction from the prophet.

  4. rcrocket says:

    Meh. The last person to be concerned with such things. Thomas S. Monson. Save this for others.

  5. runtu says:

    Bob, I’m honored that you still read my blog. Who knew?

  6. I can think of just one word; MICROMANAGMENT. C’mon, people! Giving this speach mentioning our HF’s tears over a collar? OMFG! Give me a freaking break!

  7. Todd Wood says:

    In I.F, I did listen partly to the BYU-I campus devotion today at 2 on 100.5 FM

    Is this what Sister Holt meant by taking up your cross?

    The instrumental music was beautiful at the beginning.

  8. […] August 25, 2009 by Todd Wood (1) Monson Calls for Modesty, Tab Collars […]

  9. ChrisG says:

    Runtu, when I read this on FLAK, you had me going more than halfway through. Well done.

  10. gloria says:

    Is this a joke? Serious? Does God really care if a collar covers a tie or not. Oh my goodness. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry … laugh at the stupidity of this or cry over the fact that the LDS do not understand that God truly looks at the heart and not at the outward appearance.
    Please tell me these remarks by Tom Monson are truly a joke?
    oh my poor mormon husband!

    Good grief,

  11. gloria says:

    Ok, I read thru this again. NO way could this be fact. Good job though. You had me going there for a minute. 🙂

    Thanks for the laugh,


  12. […] the department of satire so subtle that people thought it was real, Runtu posted Monson’s latest commandment, and reactions to it. BCC did the same thing (I think — I’m still not totally sure […]

  13. Well…

    He did have a concern about proper dress. If it helps duplicate the final day in our minds when we’ll all be dressed in white before the throne, so be it. If tabbed collars are possible to buy, buy them. We had in Nashville, TN some high council guys who objected to various things, i.e. beards, mustaches, and the like. The point is: is it really going to make a difference in the end?

    Sure, why not? Let’s just get dressed up very proper for church. Exacting. After all, it’s not just a “building” but a designated building where the fulness comes to dwell with us.

    Jim Micheletti

  14. Moksha says:

    I’m going with those button down collars. When God grabs us by the tie, our collars should be neat.

  15. sally says:

    With all that is going on in the world, and in our country…Communist, Socialist, Marxist all in the White House trying to take away our freedoms. Threats of nuclear war, Islam extremist, terrorism…just to name a few, I would think a true prophet of God would have more to instruct people on than buttons on tabbed collars. But maybe I’m wrong, maybe this is the answer to the woes of the world?

    I would like to know where I can read this article in it’s fullness. I went to the BYU Rexburg site but could not find it.

  16. Kathryn says:

    Hahahaha! I was taken for a great ride through the first paragraphs. If it were true, that would truly be a shame. If you didn’t get the sarcasm, sorry to make you think FURTHER pity for us poor micromanaged Mormons. I AM a little gullible though. Perhaps a disclaimer at the very end would help us who wallow in taking everything on blogs literally. See: seriouslysoblessed

  17. loren says:

    you had me until the Bednar part. Hilarious!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: