Benefits from the Prop 8 Campaign

Recently a BYU professor said that the LDS church, though unfairly targeted for its participation in the fight to restrict marriage rights to heterosexuals, reaped some benefits from the controversy: “The little-told story is how the church earned goodwill and built bridges with other religious groups.”

I called one of my contacts at the COB, and he sent me a memo he’d seen listing the top ten benefits the church received from the Prop 8 campaign.

10. At least people no longer think of polygamy first when they hear the word “Mormon.”

9. Our Evangelical friends think we’re now 5% less Satanic.

8. “No, we’re not here to rifle through your underwear drawer” has proven a highly effective door approach for missionaries.

7. People realize that we’re not just crazy people from Utah. We live in California, too!

6. We showed we can handle any kind of emergency, from a hurricane to two guys kissing.

5. Research shows a trend towards equilibrium between locks and keys.

4. Finally, we got some use out of our phone banks. Heaven knows nobody was calling in asking for free DVDs and scriptures.

3. It helped separate the wheat from the tares. After all, not every ward has a Will Schryver to sort them out.

2. It was the perfect set up for President Packer’s enlightening and inspired talk about in-born tendencies.

1. Persecution is the gift that keeps on giving.

One Response to Benefits from the Prop 8 Campaign

  1. Odell says:

    Your number one comment is sadly not a spoof. Mormons need to feel persecuted in order for their crappy lifes to have meaning. (fn – I am speaking generally and not specifically).

    The Mormon church imposes such heavy handed demands and restrictions on Mormons, that perscution is almost a reward and validation.

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