Joseph Smith and the Big Lower Loop

My middle son is reading a book about handwriting analysis called, appropriately enough, “Sex, Lies, and Handwriting,” which you can preview from Simon and Schuster:

He showed me the section “From the Erogenous Zone to the Twilight Zone,” which included the following:

What does it mean if a guy’s large down there?

Huge lower loops signify a huge appetite–for physical, sexual, or material gratification. But a huge lower zone does not necessarily mean someone is a good lover. Large loops are about quantity, not quality.

Here’s the handwriting of Joseph Smith, the founder of the Latter Day Saints (Mormon Church). Notice the enormous lower loop in the J in his name “Joseph,” as a sign of his oversized libido. In fact, Mr. Smith did like the ladies. He married thirty-three of them.


Smith married Emma Hale in 1827. Six years later, he married his second wife, 16-year-old Fanny Alger, who was working in the Smith household as a maid. Smith later claimed that an angel with a mighty sword came to him and told him to take another wife, or die. So he took another, and then another, and another.

The angel would return many times. Smith’s brides ranged in age from fourteen to fifty-eight and included five pairs of sisters, a mother and daughter, and eleven women who were already married. Outside of a small circle of family and church elders, only a few in the Mormon community knew of Smith’s polygamous marriages.

That was to change in June 1844, when a group of disenchanted followers, claiming that Smith had attempted to steal their wives, published a newspaper critical of Smith. When Smith tried to squash his critics by smashing their printing press and encircling them with Mormon militiamen, his heavy-handed tactics backfired. The governor of Illinois had Smith arrested and jailed. A few days later, an armed mob rushed the jail. Shots were fired. As Smith fell from a second-floor window, he cried out, “Oh Lord, My God!” Joseph Smith was dead at the age of thirty-nine.

My son thought it was kind of funny to see JS used as an example of someone with an enormous libido, but I suppose it fits.


2 Responses to Joseph Smith and the Big Lower Loop

  1. Diane Sower says:

    Genital size has nothing to do with performance. Many are confused by this. Some men are so large that it can be painful, and the woman won’t tell him, so he won’t change what he’s doing. The first one to two thirds of the vaginal canal has the most feeling, unless you are talking about the clitoris, which is a whole other area of enjoyment, and a woman’s arousal just isn’t about somebody’s penis size.

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