Most people are aware of Brigham Young’s famous declaration upon reaching the Salt Lake Valley. For the first time, I present the ten things said by arriving pioneers after Brigham got there.
10. Is that the welcoming committee from the Eagle Forum?
9. No, Brother Kimball, I’m not seeing anyone currently.
8. This can’t be the place. Srsly?
7. Now that we’re free from the mobs, all we have to worry about are gays, feminists, and so-called intellectuals.
6. No, I am not a Democrat. Why do you ask?
5. You left your keys where?
4. Why would anyone want to re-enact that?
3. Stop crying, Brother Beck!
2. What do you mean, “no beer sales on Sunday”?
1. It’s all right, President Young, but the Correlation Committee recommends shortening “the right place” to “the place.”