After a long and exhausting–and ultimately unsuccessful–campaign for the presidency, Mitt Romney has made the following to-do list.
10. Catch up on “Pretty Little Liars.” He’s been dying to know if Aria will end up with Jason or Ezra.
9. Commission paintings for his car elevators.
8. Kick Todd Akin’s ass.
7. Find new uses for Ann’s riding crop.
6. Fulfill his dream of opening for Taylor Swift.
5. Do a guest spot on Sesame Street.
4. Lift weights with Paul Ryan.
3. Start a charity for depressed Republicans.
2. Ponder the wisdom of the “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” essay.
1. Challenge the results of the election using “unskewed” results.