How Romney Will Recover

After a long and exhausting–and ultimately unsuccessful–campaign for the presidency, Mitt Romney has made the following to-do list.

10. Catch up on “Pretty Little Liars.” He’s been dying to know if Aria will end up with Jason or Ezra.

9. Commission paintings for his car elevators.

8. Kick Todd Akin’s ass.

7. Find new uses for Ann’s riding crop.

6. Fulfill his dream of opening for Taylor Swift.

5. Do a guest spot on Sesame Street.

4. Lift weights with Paul Ryan.

3. Start a charity for depressed Republicans.

2. Ponder the wisdom of the “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt” essay.

1. Challenge the results of the election using “unskewed” results.


5 Responses to How Romney Will Recover

  1. pollypinks says:

    I kept waiting during his campaign for someone to bring out the fact that while governor he was a moderate, signing gay and lesbian marriage into law. I couldn’t bring myself to vote for him, because I didn’t trust that according to his speeches, he’d fled to the evangelical side, which basically screws us all, and anyway, I don’t make enough money to support conservatives. And I think it’s stupid to treat young girls like dogs and make them prove they were raped.

  2. Odell Campbell says:

    I seriously think it would help his image if he indeed made a guest appearance on Sesame Street and gave Big Bird a big hug.

  3. ylauriston says:

    Good news! Romney is not the only pretty liar, I think all the mormons’machine are pretty liars. No one could understand Romney without understanding before all the lds church. This is an evident for almost every faithful mormon.

  4. […] are wondering whether Mitt’s political career is over, and — more importantly — Is the “Mormon Moment” […]

  5. juliathepoet says:

    I think whether you are a current or post-Mormon, if you are a moderate who leans at all left, there is no questions that Romney is untrustworthy. What I have never understood is how anyone who claims to follow Christ, no matter what their religion, can follow the party platform of the Republican Party. Sure, there are Republicans that are good people, but reading their party platform, I can find the letters that spell Christ and God, but nothing that would tell me that their spirit is there.

    For me, if someone believes something, understands that belief and its full ramifications, then I will support them in accepting the consequences of the actions of their beliefs. What drives me nuts is when someone professes to believe something, but they can’t explain it, and when you show them the consequences they are 100% sure that the natural consequences will never happen.

    Much of the election felt that way to me. I hate being confined at home on bed rest, but I admit that I am glad I didn’t have to be in church to hear all the justifications of why the Republican platform fits in with the gospel, or even common sense. I just don’t have the tolerance for those kind of hypocrisies.

    (I have recently found your blog, and I am enjoying exploring!)

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