Recommend to Be Required for Conference Attendance

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints announced today that, beginning with next week’s April general conference, no one will be admitted into a conference session without a special, single-use, conference recommend.

“We wanted to make conference an even more special experience,” explained church spokesperson Dale Overtsen. “When members realize they need to be spiritually prepared and worthy to attend these sacred gatherings, they tend to understand that these are not ‘just another meeting.’ ”

The construction of the Conference Center, completed in 2000, has made it possible for many more church members to attend conference sessions. As with all things, Overtsen explained, “perhaps familiarity and availability have made conference seem like something routine and mundane. The Brethren feel the new recommend policy will go a long way towards reversing this perception.”

As in years past, members wishing to attend must have a valid ticket for a specific session. This April, members wishing to secure tickets must meet with their bishop and stake president to assess worthiness and ensure willingness to adhere to church standards while in attendance. Members traveling from other locations can obtain a recommend from a special kiosk just south of the Salt Lake Temple, where there will be bishops and stake presidents specially set apart for temporary recommend duty.

When asked what questions are asked for the recommend, Overtsen declined to provide specifics but said, “Generally speaking, we want to make sure that members are dressed appropriately and covenant to maintain a reverent, spiritual atmosphere inside the Conference Center.”

Overtsen suggested that the recommend questions might be compared to Brigham Young University’s Honor Code, in which students agree to maintain dress and grooming standards and follow the church’s teachings and commandments. “We haven’t seen a lot of flip-flops or facial hair at conference,” Overtsen said, “but it happens. And we certainly want to avoid any unseemly displays or outbursts in what should otherwise be a very reverent and spirit-filled meeting.”

Asked if the recommend requirement reflects the church’s concern with rumors that an organized group of dissenters plans to oppose the sustaining of church leaders, Overtsen was emphatic: “We don’t change our policies because some loud-mouths, probably in flip-flops and beards, think they can get attention by publicly opposing the Lord’s anointed. This has nothing do with that at all. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of such a plan until you mentioned it just now.”

Overtsen said he was “confident” that there would be no trouble at the conference this year, “other than those so-called Christian yay-hoos outside the gates. Inside, everyone will be facing the same way, as always.”

 

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12 Responses to Recommend to Be Required for Conference Attendance

  1. Ryan McKnight says:

    My bags were packed!!! My vacation is now ruined!!!

  2. Jenny says:

    You had me up until “loud mouths”. Cheers!

  3. vikingz2000 says:

    “We haven’t seen a lot of flip-flops or facial hair at conference,” Overtsen said, …. We don’t change our policies because some loud-mouths, probably in flip-flops and beards, ….”

    WHAT?!!!

    This is a spoof, right?

    Ah!!!! April Fool!!!!!

    You got me; you really had me!!

  4. Agellius says:

    Yep, had me too. I didn’t begin to doubt until the last paragraph. : )

  5. Mike Clark says:

    Had a good laugh at this. First, however, I thought it was genuine, and did not like what I was reading. But when you started with the kiosks and beards I realized that it was an April fools post! Good job, John!

  6. My heart was racing for a couple paragraphs. Great job!

  7. Craig Paxton says:

    LOL…”We don’t change our policies because some loud-mouths, probably in flip-flops and beards, think they can get attention by publicly opposing the Lord’s anointed. This has nothing do with that at all. In fact, I hadn’t even heard of such a plan until you mentioned it just now.” Of course not…never, nope,

  8. cynth says:

    Runtu, you are very, very funny. Especially since there are literally so many actual statements out there virtually indistinguishable from this parody. You played it so well. Flip-flops and beards, oh my!! What a parlor game this would make- guess which statement is LDS v. NOT ?????

  9. Paul says:

    And a great April Fools to you too!
    Although I wouldn’t put it past the old cogers!

  10. Liz says:

    They are terrified of the Any Opposed campaign. That’s why they are doing this.

  11. jiminpanama says:

    Reminds me of the sock-less mannequin violating the dress code at the BYU bookstore. Good one.

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