10. What do you mean, was it my mother or father who was “white and delightsome”?
9. We wanted to invite some prominent LDS Democrats to meet with you, but we couldn’t find any.
8. I really appreciate the family tree. I had no idea you could trace my ancestors all the way back to Cain.
7. What were you thinking, building a mall?
6. That’s a tie pin, not an emblem of my power and priesthoods.
5. Which one are you guys, again? Xenu or Moroni?
4. Does that jello have ramen noodles in it?
3. No, I’m not interested in Melaleuca.
2. That’s not the five points of fellowship; it’s just Joe Biden greeting an intern.
1. Why do you keep calling me the “so-called president”?