10. They are concerned about the unintended consequences of legalized marijuana, which would be avoided with safe, legal drugs like oxycontin and vicodin.
9. Conference might actually be interesting if everyone were high.
8. Herbs shouldn’t be used for medicinal purposes, unless they’re in unregulated supplements, sold through multilevel marketing, or used for bruises and sick cattle.
7. Technically, it’s not opposing if it’s done out of the public view.
6. After Melaleuca, Tahitian Noni, Neways, NuSkin, USANA, and doTerra, the last thing Mormons need is another pyramid scheme.
5. The church knows hotels, cattle ranches, and big-game reserves, not grow houses.
4. The church wouldn’t want to tarnish its positive public image as egregiously anti-gay with a history of polygamy and racism.
3. They got out of the vice business when they sold off their brothels.
2. Saturday is a special day, it’s the day we get ready for Sunday–unless you’re baked.
1. More money spent on weed means less money for tithing.