52 Questions That Might Lead You to Mormonism

1. Why does God give some people brown skin?
2. How many shares does God want me to buy in a hotel and at what price?
3. What is my “little factory,” and what does it mean to tamper with it?
4. What does it mean to be “used up”?
5. What’s so special about Missouri?
6. Where does the sun get its light?
7. Was Martin Luther King part of a Communist conspiracy?
8. Why do Native Americans look so much like Jews?
9. If a spirit appears to me, how can I tell it’s an angel and not a demon?
10. If God had a couple of billion dollars sitting around, what would he do with it?
11. What kind of underwear does God want me to wear?
12. What is the Egyptian word for the Sun?
13. Is it wrong to try to have a personal relationship with Jesus?
14. Is a seer stone used for finding buried treasure, translating scripture, or both?
15. I’m a married man, and I’d like to have sex with another woman without my wife finding out about it. Is that OK with God?
16. Is there some kind of secret handshake you need to get into heaven?
17. Should clergy be paid, or only the ones at the top of the hierarchy?
18. Is this man a dodo?
19. To reach the “tree of life” and everlasting joy, are we supposed to hold onto an iron rod or a rope?
20. Does God preserve scriptural records for 1,400 years so that eventually they will be translated by someone who doesn’t actually use them in the translation?
21. Can we get rid of the italicized words in the King James Bible?
22. Are gay people happier if they remain celibate?
23. Should churches ever apologize for their mistakes?
24. I like to re-enact disastrous journeys, such as that of the Donner party. Where can I find likeminded people?
25. Does God have a penis?
26. Does the Godhead consist of 2 or 3 personages?
27. Should people of different races marry each other?
28. In the nineteenth century, how common was it for a married man in his late thirties to marry a teenager without his wife’s knowledge or consent?
29. Is it OK with God for prophets to borrow millions of dollars from the funds of the true church?
30. When the Lord establishes a bank through His prophet, how long should we expect it to stay in business?
31. What does “carnal intercourse” mean?
32. If I have to choose between following my conscience or obeying a religious leader, which one should I choose?
33. How many earrings are appropriate in each ear?
34. If I do an act of charity, should I do it quietly or should I do something to attract attention to myself, such as wearing a bright yellow shirt?
35. If the natural man is an enemy to God, does that mean gays are God’s friends because their desires are unnatural?
36. Which one was Jesus: Quetzalcoatl or Wiracocha?
37. How, where, and when did Arthur Patton die?
38. Where can I find an organization that will help me find happiness in conformity?
39. What were Joseph Smith and Fanny Alger doing in the barn?
40. When is steel not actually steel?
41. Is “ofin Zimim ezmon E, Zu onis i f s veris etzer ensvonis vineris” Hebrew?
42. Is it ever OK to criticize a religious leader?
43. Is Anubis a slave?
44. Does God approve of oral sex?
45. Is it ever appropriate to lie to the police?
46. Where does God live?
47. Are organizations that have secret rites and oaths good or bad?
48. Should women have an education and career, or should they stay home and have lots of babies?
49. If the Holy Spirit tells me to kill someone, should I use a sword or a knife?
50. Are there any moral absolutes?
51. How badly do I need to believe in things that are not so?

Bonus question: Which is worse: decaffeinated coffee or caffeinated soda?

If you enjoyed this list, you might also like the Concise Dictionary of Mormonism.